Liffey thumbed slowly through the book.
“Kathleen, what is this book about?”
“I don’t really know, Liffey. I suppose I
will have to start reading it when I start
changing.”
“I can’t take much more of this,” Liffey
muttered.
“Kathleen, listen up here! Look at your
feet. What do you see? Do you see
anything unusual down there?”   
“Not really,” replied Kathleen.   
“O.K. Kathleen, drop the towel!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I said drop the towel Kathleen. You
have already turned into an Ossory
Werewolf.”
Kathleen let the towel fall to the floor,
walked over to the full length mirror on
the bathroom door and let out a
heartbroken whimper.

THE WEREWOLVES OF OSSORY
‘She must have gone up only one flight
of steps,’ Liffey decided, when out of
nowhere she felt icy cold, bony fingers
clamping down on her neck and a
hoarse voice asking: “Are you following
me young lady?”  
Liffey could hardly catch her breath. It
was obvious that this lady knew she
was following her. Liffey resisted the
impulse to yank the thin, icy fingers off
her neck and flee as she lied:
“Following you? Of course not!  Why
would I be following you?”
“That’s what I would like to know. Now
you listen to me, I may look old and
feeble, but I am much more resourceful
than you could ever imagine and I am
warning you right now that if you slam
into me or follow me one more time,
you will deeply regret it.” Little pricking
pins and needles began to run up and
down Liffey’s back.
Liffey was speechless as the old
woman released her finger claws and
walked away slowly, pulling her
crippled left leg up each step by using
the stretchy fabric of her baggy
slacks.  She did not look like a
formidable adversary. Dyed brown hair
and overly tanned skin masked her
true age.
“She’s probably over a hundred,”
Liffey thought, feeling somewhat
foolish as she watched the feeble
woman struggling up the stairs with her
bad leg.
Still, Liffey had the strong feeling that
this seemingly harmless old lady was a
danger to someone. Liffey hoped it
was not herself and quickly left the
stairwell before the unpleasant woman
had time to turn around to begin
another verbal assault.        
THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING NOVICE
It was the prickly pins and needles
crawling on Liffey’s skin that woke her
up. She had no idea how long she had
been asleep. Something instinctive told
her not to sit up and announce her
presence when she heard deep,
hushed voices coming from a few pews
in front of her talking about when they
should ‘do the job.’
‘Do what job?’ Liffey was hardly
breathing now. What if they saw her?
Who were they? She dared not look
and said her first prayer of the day:
“Please do not let Max snore!”
“I’m telling you, if we go in now, it won’t
work. We need to bring in the  
quartet,” a raspy voice argued.
“Are you joking? The quartet will take it
themselves if we don’t watch them
24/7.”
“We came this far without them. Why
bring them in now?” asked a high
pitched voice.
“Because. I have a bad feeling this
time. Like someone is on to us.”
Liffey was certain this voice belonged
to the blue nosed clown.
“Yeah right,” a nasal voice honked.
Liffey could hear big feet shuffling
away toward the altar. “Do you really
think these Sunday morning lame
brains are going to catch on?”
The blue nosed clown’s voice
answered: “It’s not them, it’s something
else. I’m telling you, we need to bring
in the quartet or this won’t work.”

THE CASE OF THE CLUMSY CLOWNS

THE MYSTERY OF THE TEMPORARY TROPHY
Mrs. Hudson looked completely taken
aback and Mrs. Sherlock shrieked
again at the top of her lungs: “I told
you she knows about us, Melanie! Now
what are we supposed to do with her?
What’s to become of us if we lose this
round? It will be the end of us!”
Liffey was starting to get worried. What
did Mrs. Sherlock mean when she said
“Now what will we do with her?” What
did they think she knew?         
All she had done was to ask them if
they were part of a Sherlock Holmes
role playing club because of their
names. Each of them had a name of a
character in a Sherlock Holmes story,
and they had referred to others who
were with them at the hotel as having
names from Sherlock Holmes stories
too. It was not rocket science to figure
out that they might be part of some
weird group.
‘It’s time to get away from these
crazies. So much for watching the
Murphy Trophy competition,’ Liffey
thought sadly.
"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE
MAGAZINE, THEY HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AND I
CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH WE'VE ENJOYED THEM."
                           TALLULAH SPEED
                  'IRISH DANCING AND CULTURE MAGAZINE'
These Liffey Rivers Mini Mysteries were previously serialized and
published in six parts each in Irish Dancing and Culture Magazine
from 2008-2011.



ISBN: 9781461103011



           U.K.
              U.S.A.
"Before she became a teenager, if she
spotted an evil clown at Hernandez’s
masquerading as a nice piñata, there
was a procedure in place to handle the
emergency. Liffey was to say ‘clown,’
and go immediately into the restroom."
Photo of sinister clown taken at
Hernandez Restaurant in Delavan,
Wisconsin, by Brenna Briggs.
6-29-2012